A while ago something very interesting happened in the TIP group, I asked how many parents wanted to stop yelling and we go so many “YES” responses.
The response was a surprise because a lot of the times people argue that its okay to yell but deep down they know that there is a better way to go about it. So in today’s blog post we will be looking at how yelling affects you, your child and how you can stop yelling.
Sometime ago after a live session a Mother in our community heard me talk about the dangers of yelling so she decided on her own to stop, weeks later she came back to complain that it wasn’t possible for a Parent not to yell, I laughed because life abhors vaccum, if you decide to break the cycle of yelling you need to have a strategy that will make your resolve effective.
Please answer these questions to tell if you are addicted to yelling…
•Do you find yourself yelling when you dont realise you are doing it?
•Is yelling easier than staying calm?
•Do you yell more often than you like?
If your response to these questions are Yes then you might be addicted to yelling.
Most times we get addicted to behavioural patterns especially when you were parented with those patterns and like many addictions, we don’t realise we are yelling and deny it always.
The best way to actually work on yelling is to agree that you have an issue. The challenge most times is not in yelling but what your child hears when you yell, your intentions might be right but good intentions are never enough so to your good intentions you must add skill, knowledge and grit.
When you activate your pitch it can activate the dopamine hormone which is a reward hormone, so when you yell there is a satisfaction you get from it.
Getting to the point of parenting with calm is a journey that will take a while, we need to understand that getting to this point where you actually dont need to yell is a process that one needs to commit to. Often times I am asked how I got my ten year olds to cook, it was simply by intentionally teaching not by yelling or beating.
Effects of yelling on your Child
Many times parents tell me that it’s not possible to just talk to Children calmly without yelling because they will not listen.
My response to them has always been “it is because You have wired them/raised them to respond to only yells and shouts”.
It is time we begin to pay attention to the things we pay attention to how we yell especiallyvwhen they upset us.
We think that saying things with just words might not be abusive since we are not hitting but you might be creating more psychological harm than you can imagine.
Children perceive shouting as a threat to their sense of security, safety and confidence. Long term exposure to shouting can result in fear, anxiety, stress, insomnia, developmental delays, behavioral problem, academic issues, social difficulties, emotional issues and thwarted coping skills … Sihweil
Yelling is as bad as physical Abuse!
Apart from what yelling does to your child, it also has it’s downsides on you!
Yelling raises blood pressure, heart rates and adrenaline levels. People who yell exhibit higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol in their bloodstream over time.
The truth is, you are going to continue yelling if you never understand why you are screaming at your child and that you can deal with it yourself.
The most basic reason many people yell is that at some leave we feel we are not being heard. Yelling also stems from a need for control. It’s a form of verbal aggression.
I hear you say “If I don’t yell my children won’t listen…..lol
Well, let me tell you why…..you have programmed your children to only listen when you yell!
To help you further understand the effects of yelling , I have prepared this free guide
GET YOUR FREE GUIDE
You can work on moving from a Yeller to a Calm Parent.
I have shared this Free guide to help you understand why Yelling is bad and how you can work on it.
Kindly download your FREE Copy here:
The good news, you can reprogram this pattern , but it’s a skill you must learn not something you wish.
I’m offering you a 10 – day accountability challenge, where I guide and give you strategies that will take you from yelling to Calm.
I guarantee this Challenge will change your life as a parent.
If you are a parent that struggles with anger, you need this Challenge?
If you have being Yelling at your children and actually get tired at some point you need to join this challenge ❤
If you are looking for alternative ways to modify your child’s behaviour without shouting down everyone, you need this Challenge.
Join me for this challenge as I share with you how I walked through my own journey from being a yeller to a calm Parent.In this 10 days Challenge will give you a jumpstart on your journey to tame your temper.
In 10 days, you WILL notice a change in how often you yell at your children.
You Will Learn How To
✔Dramatically decrease how often you lose temper on your children.
✔Feel more confident in your ability to stay calm when things get chaotic.
✔Create a happier, more relaxed home for your entire family
✔Ways to move from a consistent yeller to a calmer parent
✔ How to use proven strategies and Tools to modify behaviours in your children without having to yell.
If I can ditch yelling, you too can. Come let’s parent with Peace and Calm.
©The Intentional Parent Academy ™