Every time we talk about raising children with strong moral values, most people think that we are advocating for raising perfect children or raising children who always obey you at all times but that’s not the conversation of the day. In this blog post, you will be learning what you can do to raise children who are negative influence proof.
In the words of Theodore Roosevelt “To educate a person in mind and not in morals is to educate a menace in society” and if you look around you today you will agree with me that this is not just about raising our children to have a sound mind but have zero in character. In my years of working with parents, one of the mistakes I have seen is that parents pay attention to the mind and they never pay attention to character and truly character is what makes a person.
In recent times we have been talking about sex conversations, and not long after the media was filled with the unfortunate story of R.Kelly.In a viral post I made, R.Kelly is a product of a failed family system, He was a brilliant mind, and had so much talent to offer the world but he has become someone who is now tainted as an Ex-convict for life. The interesting thing is that R-Kelly grew up in a Christian home but there were fundamental things that were missing in his upbringing like education of character, education of value system, and paying attention to the family as a whole. In that post I mentioned that no one is born promiscuous, gay, or bisexual, this happens as a result of how we are programmed in childhood.
When it comes to raising children with strong moral values, you must realize that you can not leave it to chance, anything you leave to chance cannot succeed. In parenting it’s either you parent by probability or by intentionality, whichever what you choose to go, you must recognise that there is a price. Values are important for you to live, they are too important for you to live them to the school system . Schools have tried to preach morals but are having a hard time doing it, the reason is simple: the window of an opportunity to lay a foundation for strong morals ends by the time your child is 6 so they school systems encounters a barrier when instilling values in children over 6. In my study of the Japanese system, I learned that their children learn morals and character before they learn to teach the mind this is why you can trade with trust in the whole of Japan as a nation.
The question is not whether we should teach values or not, the question is what are we teaching? Children learn moral values by observation, drawing conclusions about what they think and your children’s values will emerge from those conclusions.
When a child is born you are at the top most influential stage, this is typically between the ages of 0 to 7, by the time a child turns 8 you begin to change position, their peer group becomes the most influential person in their lives, followed by the other adults in their lives, media and then you as their parent. In all of this, there is still a twist to it, research proves that the stronger relationship you have with your child the more his word and the opinions of his peers is filtered through the values they picked up from you. So in order words relationship trumps control in parenting.Do you know how to influence your children?
How do you influence your child’s moral values?
- Teach Them Moral Competencies: We dedicate the month of November to teaching moral competence in the Inner circle program.
Join The Inner Circle Program Here
These moral competencies include:
Fairness, Empathy, Decency, Self-sacrifice, Loyalty, Honesty, Responsibility, Service, Honour. A child with strong moral values will become a happy adult. According to Martin Selvat (a happiness expert), happiness is a result of developing character strength. And character strength includes Humility, Self-control, Love for learning, Industriousness, leadership, caution, chastity, dependability and the 10 self-concepts in parenting. These 10 self-concepts will be broadened during the upcoming sex educate your child like a pro challenge.
2. Make It Relevant To His World: If a conversation or value system isn’t relevant to your child’s world you will miss it. The first thing to consider while instilling value is to make it relevant. You must realize that values are not theory, they are very practical.
How To Make Values Relevant: Create your family values: If you don’t have a family value, mission, and vision you are headed nowhere as a parent. Every family is created to fulfill a purpose and if that purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable. If your family values are not documented, it is not valuable. Get our family value guide here
3. What are You Modelling? Many of us will achieve a better result in parenting not because we are better, not because we are perfect but because we are intentional. If you are intentional about what you are modeling, a lot of things won’t happen. For instance, I see parents say things like we don’t lie in our family, we are honest people but many of the times that value is not lived intentionally because you do not have an accountability system that holds you accountable for the things you and do not do. When you become a parent you lose the privilege of behaving anyhow. If your parenting is not changing you, then you are not parenting well because parenting is designed to recreate you as an individual. This is why part of the modules for the upcoming sex educate your child like a pro challenge is centered around you as the most important piece because I have found that when you become a parent a lot of things are centered around you. I love my child and I know what is good for my child is not a parenting plan, parenting plans are filled with structures, and knowledge-based and have a well-thought-out accountability plan to back it up so your parenting structure is created to reform you.
4. Create An Intentional Social Roadmap For Your Genzer: These days we are parenting from a lot of fears, we are raising children who are locked down and shut up inside your house. I learned from the onset that the environment you raise your child will affect who that child becomes later on in life, because we are a product of parenting programming including what happens in our environment and you cannot influence the friends your child eventually makes but you can influence their environment by creating a system from day one.Influence is a key tool teenagers use to learn and social connections is one of the most important things to a teenager and you can’t take it away.
Your teenager must be influenced by their peers but the question is if the influence will be positive of negative. I have seen friends of my daughter become book worms my interacting with her and I have also seen my daughter become more social because she has a friend who is social. The influence your child’s peers will have on them, you cannot match it.
7 in 10 Number of children have inadvertently viewed online pornography.When most people think about child sexual abuse, they think of those children in which an adult has touched a child in an inappropriate way. But there are also non-touching forms of sexual abuse.
In the age of fast moving tech there are new victims.. Those who are abused without being touched. How do you deal with this?
This is why we created this SEX-EDUCATE YOUR CHILD LIKE A PRO CHALLENGE and made it accessible to everyone. Your child might become a victim of abuse even without any adult touching them…
Who is in your child’s environment? Don’t access this knowledge alone, Sex educating a child requires that everyone in the circle of the child know what to do.
Get everyone in your circle into this challenge; sex education has a new dimension and we will be recreating that dimension for you at this challenge.
Dont just pay for yourself, get other people in your circle of influence to join.We now have over 2,500 parents registered for this challenge and we have only a FEW slots to close registrations tomorrow.
To Join the Sex Educate Your Child Like A Pro Challenge, pay #2,000 to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy. Send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 08129687040.
Or you can JOIN online https://selar.co/SexeducationchallengePartner with us to reach more parents.