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Parenting in the social media era can be both constructive and destructive, depending on how you use it. When it comes to parenting in the 21st century, social media is a tool, not a problem. I often tell parents that the social media age will not go away. Instead, it will evolve and expand. From where we started with Facebook, we now have a million and one social media platforms out there. The fact is that the more you try to avoid or control them, the more you can’t manage them or teach your children how to use them wisely. You need to embrace that social media is not your problem. So don’t blame the tool, blame your inefficiency on how to navigate the tool. In essence, blaming social media for your parenting inefficiency is just like a bad workman blaming his tools. If you lack the skills to use the tool, it doesn’t render the tool useless. It’s about honing your skills to make the most of what’s available. Understanding this perspective is crucial. To sail successfully in this digital era, one must acknowledge the winds, not blame them. As the saying goes, “He that knows not where he sails, no wind is favorable.”

Moving forward, in this blogpost we will explore a framework for understanding the role of social media in parenting. If you find yourself attributing your parenting challenges solely to “children of these days,” it’s time for a paradigm shift. Embrace the tools available in today’s world, and you’ll find yourself equipped to champion the complexities of modern parenting.
Parenting in the Digital World; How to Navigate.

Knowledge
As a parent, understanding how to navigate the tools of the digital age is paramount and one of those tools is knowledge. Avoid falling into the trap of blaming external factors. Instead, seize the advantages this era offers, starting with the abundance of information and support. “If you grasp the use of today’s tools, you’ll emerge as a champion. Believe me, you will. I prefer to raise my children in this era, given the information I have at my disposal. While it may seem like a challenging period, it’s, in fact, an era of knowledge, totally different from the industrialization of our parents’ time or the agrarian era of our grandparents.

Just like parenting, maintaining a successful marriage in today’s world also needs knowledge. Without it, the path becomes chaotic. The idea that our parents had flawless marriages is often a romanticized misconception. In truth, many of their marriages were challenging. In a recent conversation with my husband, the governor, He shared a striking observation – 98% of the time, individuals unknowingly replicate patterns learned from their parents. The rising divorce rates are not a consequence of the present time or the behavior of today’s children; it’s a manifestation of a significant knowledge gap. The key factor in both parenting and marriage is knowledge, and without it, failure is inevitable. This isn’t a prophecy, prayer point, or curse; it’s a simple truth that we must acknowledge.

Unlike our parents, we now have abundant resources and knowledge at our disposal. We can’t afford to make excuses when the tools for success are within reach. The children of today are not inherently problematic; instead, they will hold us accountable for our lack of knowledge. Some have already begun challenging their parents. Embracing a commitment to continuous learning is paramount. We must confront the good, the bad, and the ugly aspects of parenting and marriage. What challenges and concerns do we face? Understanding these dynamics is the first step toward navigating the complexities of navigating parenting in the parenting era. The sooner we commit to learning and adapting, the better equipped we will be to meet the demands of the future.

2. Embracing Communication and Connection
The foremost challenge for parents in this era of raising children is the erosion of face-to-face conversations. Genuine, direct communication is gradually becoming an extinct practice in our homes. Even within the confines of the same house, the reliance on digital communication platforms is increasing. In many cases, individuals find themselves in the same house, yet conversations are conducted through text or FaceTime. Without intentional efforts to address these challenges, they can spiral into overwhelming and destructive forces. The very essence of communication is compromised, leading to a disconnect among family members. An alarming example is when a teenager confided in me, saying that in their home, even mealtime notifications are delivered through text messages, this shows a significant shift away from face-to-face communication.

3. Discipline is a Private Affair:
Discipline is one of the most private aspects of parenting. Why has it become a public affair? In today’s parenting with social media, many parents use these platforms to vent about their kids instead of talking to them. They share frustrations, seeking advice or support from online communities. However, this can lead to too many opinions and confusion. Some parents even post videos of disciplining their children on social media, which raises concerns about privacy and their children’s well-being. Instead of directly addressing issues, they turn to online platforms. To navigate this, it’s crucial to prioritize real conversations with your child over seeking validation on social media. Building a strong connection requires talking, understanding, and engaging with your family directly, without relying too much on online platforms for problem-solving.

Discipline in parenting is a personal matter. When you miss the mark, you’re not just trying to prove something, but seeking validation publicly. It’s not about showcasing; it’s about being responsible and disciplined yourself. Ask yourself, why am I disciplining my child on social media? If you know exactly what to do, you don’t need validation from others. Seeking validation is a wrong aspect of our parenting culture that we learned. You don’t have to prove anything to anybody. I have nothing to prove if my child makes a mess outside. There’s no need to defend my parenting skills. Why should it be about me? Sometimes, we struggle with our children making mistakes because we were raised to believe mistakes are unacceptable. It’s crucial to move away from this mindset. I wrote a book titled “Discipline Is Not an Emergency,” which is one of my favorites. Order a copy here. The essence of discipline is not an urgent display but a consistent, thoughtful approach. Let’s shift our focus from seeking approval to understanding and applying effective discipline.

4. Emotional Intelligence
To navigate parenting in this social media era you need emotional intelligence. If our emotions are not in check, the entire parenting process can go awry. Our childhood experiences often leave us with challenges in managing emotions. In our upcoming course, “Becoming an Emotionally Intelligent Parent,” starting on the 12th of February, we delve into the impact of childhood trauma on emotional regulation. It’s a foundational step because without addressing and healing these past experiences, efforts toward emotional regulation might not yield the desired results.

During the course, we’ll explore coping mechanisms, emotional deregulations, and normalized behaviors that originated from our upbringing. One significant module focuses on understanding our childhood, reflecting on our behaviors, recognizing distorted self-perceptions, and understanding how our upbringing shaped our traits. The distorted self-perception we carry from our childhood can affect how we perceive and teach certain subjects. The course aims to bring clarity and help participants navigate their emotional landscapes.

Additionally, I have valuable insights into the influence of social media on young people and the challenges and opportunities for parents. For instance, 68% of parents believe that social media affects their teens’ ability to socialize normally. This is a significant concern that we’ll address, emphasizing the importance of using social media as a tool for our benefit rather than letting it control us.

Online safety is another critical aspect, particularly protecting children from inappropriate content, online predators, and cyberbullying. The digital space is filled with potential dangers, and parents need to be aware and proactive in safeguarding their children. If you haven’t registered for the “Becoming an Emotionally Intelligent Parent” course, I encourage you to do so. The details are available, and it promises to be a transformative experience. Share this information with your family and friends, as the course will provide valuable insights for everyone. I’m passionate about teaching this topic in a unique way, offering perspectives and strategies that aren’t copied from elsewhere. Join me on Deliverance Day, February 12th, for an insightful exploration of emotional intelligence in parenting.

If you haven’t registered for the “Becoming an Emotionally Intelligent Parent” course, I encourage you to do so. The details are available, and it promises to be a transformative experience. Share this information with your family and friends, as the course will provide valuable insights for everyone. I’m passionate about uniquely teaching this topic, offering perspectives and strategies that aren’t copied from elsewhere. Join me on Deliverance Day, February 12th, for an insightful exploration of emotional intelligence in parenting.

Three Industry Experts!
Teaching ……
5 Modules!
5 worksheets!
5 days of learning
12th February is Emotional Intelligence Liberation Day

To join the Becoming an Emotionally Intelligent Parent course, pay N20,500 instead of #30,500 before Friday to 0509494057 (GTB Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy and send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 09036633600.

You can register online using this link: https://theintentionalparentacademy.selar.co/emotionalintelligentparent

Parenting a teen has its own unique set of challenges. It is one key aspect of your journey as a parent. Many times, people do not realize that parenting a teenager will present different kinds of difficulties. It’s not uncommon for teenagers to crave independence and resist parental guidance. This phase can leave you wondering, “How can I reconnect with my teenager?” In today’s blog post, I’m going to teach you about understanding the five C’s of knowing your teen’s struggles and what to do to reconnect with them. This will help you to navigate the complexity of parenting a teenager.

1. Connection: The number one reason why parents struggle with their teenagers is connection issues. In my book, Connect to Correct, I explained that the child you do not build a connection with today as a toddler will be a problem for you as a teenager. This reflects the principle of seed time and harvest. Many times, you do not have to struggle with your teen if you have established a strong bond with them. I have heard people say that their children are not old enough for them to be in the academy or join the inner circle because their children are still toddlers. But by the time your children reach the adolescent phase, the struggle has already begun because you have lost connection with them. You should know that there is a lot of conflict that happens during this phase, and it is not because of you or the child.

These are conflicts that are inevitable and natural. And when they happen, one of the things that will help you is the fact that there is a connection between you and your child.

2. Control Issues: Control issues are one of the reasons why we are big on connection in the Inner Circle. We provide a daily tool that keeps you on your toes to connect with your child. Connection is not a weekly or once-in-a-while endeavor, it’s daily because anything you build is what you will reap.

Under control issues, you have autonomy struggles and power struggles. I was listening to my children review the book by Coach Chiedozie “Why Teenagers Fail”, and in this book, he was talking about the identity crisis, the autonomy crisis, and the destiny crisis, that teenagers face. These are all the crises that happen to your teenagers when they are going through this phase.

One of the bonus classes that we are offering for becoming an emotionally intelligent parent this year is understanding the teen’s brain and how to navigate it on your parenting journey. So if you haven’t registered and you have teenagers, you are on your own. I mean, this class will give you insight into how you can navigate through the process of understanding what is happening to the teen part of the brain. Register for this course here

When it comes to autonomy struggles, children begin to seek independence at this phase. Seeking independence is a good thing, not a bad thing. The problem is that we fight it because we don’t know how to find the balance between guidance and autonomy. There has to be guidance, of course, but that also leads us to power struggles.

There are a lot of power tussles that we engage in. We say, “No, you cannot do this or that,” because we do not understand how the teen brain works. There is something that makes them want to see what will happen. Most of the things your teenagers do are not because they don’t know whether it’s right or wrong. Some of them know it’s wrong, but they just want to try it because the brain tells them that that’s how to find independence. It’s a fight for life.

Have you read anything about the fight for independence in different countries and all of that? It’s similar to what your teens are going through. So all your threats, all your “I will do this or that to you,” your teen’s brain gets excited by that kind of challenge. So control issues are one of the reasons why you struggle with your teen.

3. Communication Issues:

So far in this blog post, we have explored reasons why you struggle with your child which included, connection, control, and for this third communication. In my book, “Solving Family Problems Through Effective Communication”, I wrote that the risky thing about raising teenagers in our world today is that they have a lot of options. There are a lot of people and media bombarding them with messages.

The problem is that you don’t fight to become the loudest voice in your child’s brain. No, you create it. You connect to influence, you don’t fight to influence. Many times, those communication issues happen because there is a difference in how you and your teen perceive and interpret things.

You cannot become the loudest voice in your child’s life by fighting. You fight and you lose the battle. That’s it! So, of course, in this phase, your teenagers have a problem. There is a communication gap, there is a misunderstanding. They interpret messages in different ways and I will tell you why as we go along. There is a limit to how much they share their thoughts with you.

The steps to influence your child are what we teach in the Creating a Social Roadmap for Your Genzer Inner Circle Class coming up this weekend for parents in our Inner circle. Book a slot here.

At some point, you will be on the fourth floor. When your children turn 13, you are on the fourth floor. You will no longer be the most influential person, even though you will still be the most important person if you have done the work to be the most important person. You will no longer be the most influential person when they are 13. Your influence is on the fourth floor.

If you have a child right now who is not 13 yet, please bear it in the back of your mind. Keep it in the back of your mind that at some point, you will not hear everything the way it is. Not because they want to lie to you, no, but because some information you cannot process the way you need to process it. And it’s also because you do not have the emotional intelligence to be able to take in some information. Because you have communication challenges, there is a lot of misunderstanding. There is a lot of back and forth.

That’s why you need training. Because if you are trained, you are in a better position to help your child. If you are not trained, you do your children a disservice by your ignorance. And then you fight because you will continue to fight where there is no fight.

4. Change in Priorities: One of the first things you learn as a teen parent is that the priorities of your teenager will change. They are now navigating their world and their priorities will shift. You begin to struggle when they begin to prioritize their friends. Do you know who is at the top of the fourth floor? Peer group. Do you know who is in the second group on that floor after the peer group? Other adults.

One of the most important people in the life of a teenager is other adults, not just their parents. That’s why we keep emphasizing mentorship. Your children will need it like their life depends on it, because at that point in time, they will need the other adult. And if you don’t set other adults in their life, they will pick any other adult, because there is no vacuum in parenting. Your child will fill the vacuum with whoever they can. It could be Kim Kardashian, it could even be Bobrisky, it could be anybody.

If you don’t intentionally create that system of who the other adults should be by the time they are teenagers, you will just be running around, because now you don’t even know who is influencing them. Remember, we are talking about the order of influence.

If you are an intentional parent, you will have created all of these four influence groups.

5. Coping with change: Coping with change is another reason why children struggle with their parents. Most of us do not understand why children struggle with the emotional roller coaster of their teenage years. Do you know that puberty affects the brain? There is something called the puberty brain in medicine. The brain changes its development during puberty. If you don’t have the book “Walking Your Child Through Puberty, get it here. I wrote this book while I was trying to understand what happens to children during puberty.

• Do you know that children at puberty become lazy?
• Have you noticed that your children become 14 or 15 and they are lazy about things? The brain and the whole drama during puberty, weigh them down. The reason for this is that we are not intentional in building our children’s emotional capacity. When puberty comes, it overwhelms them. And when this happens, You struggle to adapt to their mood swings, you struggle to adapt to their change in behavior.

The most difficult time for any child is between the ages of 13 and 18 because they are trying to navigate their world. They are trying to understand who they are. They are trying to understand what they are doing. If they get it wrong at this age, it will make a mess of their future. You know what they say, a fool at 40 was a fool at 14.

Are you ready to join the 1000 parents who have already registered for the Becoming an Emotionally Intelligent Parent course?

This course will show you in practical terms how you can work on your emotions and use them positively in your journey as a parent
1. Learn to Understand Your Emotions
2. Understand Your Yelling Triggers And Ditch Them
3. How Emotions Management can help behavior management/discipline in parenting.
4. Learn how emotion management helps us become better people.

WHAT’S IN IT FOR YOU?
1. Free Assess to Self-assessment Tools:
You will receive self-assessment tools and questionnaires to evaluate their
current EI level.
2. Weekly Challenges and Exercises
You will receive weekly challenges and exercises to apply practically
your newfound knowledge and skills.
3. Year Long Access
Enrolled participants will have year-long access to the course materials
4. Bonus Resources:
Participants will also receive bonus resources, such as EI-related Guides, access to past editions of this course etc.
5. Gain year-long access to course materials
6. Get Up to 50% Off With Our Early Bird Offers!

But hurry, this offer won’t last long. You have until Friday to register for the course and pay only N15,500 ($17) instead of #30,500.

To join the course, simply pay to 0509494057 (GTB Bank) with the name The Intentional Parent Academy and send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 09036633600. You can also register online using this link: https://theintentionalparentacademy.selar.co/emotionalintelligence

“I am frustrated with Parenting, I don’t know if I am the only one but my children make this journey so difficult, I think my children are just too strong- willed and stubborn unlike your own children .

This is a complaint I get very often. While one parent thinks theirs is worse, what they don’t know is that every parent gets frustrated on their journey when the going gets tough, but what differs is what they are able to do with that frustration. Turning your parenting frustrations into connection moment is one of the supper powers of parenting and I have taught this over the years to help thousands of parents.

Have you ever thought that your worse moments can become the best moments for a while? Yes you heard right and this blog will be a light bulb moment for you.

In dealing with these frustrations, I have broken them down into :

6 P’s of Parenting Frustration and How to Turn Them to Connection

1. PRESSURE : Parenting, in these times is riddled with the weight of expectations. The pressure to excel in the role of parenting can be overwhelming. From societal standards to family expectations, the burden of raising children according to perceived norms creates pressure for tons of parents. These pressure points include ;

a. Pressure of Performance: The expectation to perform well and the constant comparison of our parenting with others, and even worse the invisible competition we create in our minds can contribute to this pressure .

b. Parenting Superiority: In a world where information is abundant, parents find themselves not only more educated but also more competitive. The pressure of proving that “my parenting is better than yours” is becoming crazy.

c. The Pressure of Fun: Surprisingly, there is a pressure associated with the concept of fun in parenting. I talked about this in the inner circle recently. From meticulously planned birthday celebrations to the pressure of living by societal expectations. The pressure of fun is real for families etc Other pressures include the pressure of educational expectations and fashion and appearance.

2. Perception: Perception to me, is at the core of parenting challenges. Life is shaped by how we perceive things, and when it comes to parenting, misunderstanding a child’s behavior can lead to frustration. It’s crucial to recognize that misinterpreting your child’s needs or not understanding their developmental stage can result in persistent frustration.

Parenting pressures like we mentioned earlier also adds to the mix. Whether it’s societal expectations or the fear of judgment, these pressures can cloud our perception. Instead of succumbing to societal pressure, it’s essential to focus on understanding and guiding Your child through their growth.

3. Power Struggles: Parenting comes with its fair share of frustrations, and one significant hurdle that many parents face is the power struggles that can arise between them and their children. These conflicts often stem from past struggles, a lack of connection, and misunderstandings about children’s developmental stages.

Power struggles with your child, especially during crucial developmental stages, can be a significant source of frustration. I believe that fostering a strong connection with your child prevents these struggles. Connection is the key to navigating past challenges and creating a harmonious relationship.

A misbehaving child seeks attention, even if negative. Understanding this helps in managing behaviors effectively. It’s crucial not to fall into the trap of prioritizing the wrong aspects—be it societal expectations or comparisons with others. Each parent’s journey is unique, and prioritizing your season of life is essential.

4. Prioritization challenges are a real struggle for parents. Managing and figuring out what truly matters often feels like an uphill battle. The constant pressure to keep up with others, especially in this competitive world, makes it difficult to prioritize our own needs and navigate through the different seasons of life.

In the Inner Circle, we don’t advocate for the concept of balance because, truth be told, there’s no such thing. The idea of achieving a perfect work-life balance seems unattainable. Instead, what we focus on is essentialism. Time, a factor often touted as manageable, is actually something we can’t control. We don’t teach time management; we teach essentialism. It’s about looking at time, prioritizing what truly matters, and embracing what is essential in that moment.

I’ve realized that trying to balance every aspect of life only leads to frustration. In my own journey, there have been moments when I felt overshadowed by high-achieving peers, questioning where I stand in my own season of life. Prioritizing my own season is the key to avoiding this frustration.

Life, as we know it, isn’t about finding the perfect balance, but rather about understanding what is essential in each season. By embracing essentialism over balance, I’ve found a more realistic and satisfying approach to managing life’s demands.

5. Perfection: Perfection, oh, the pressure it brings. Who told us that we must strive for perfection or raise perfect children? It’s a misleading notion. The idea that everything must fit into a perfect mold only sets us up for a life devoid of growth and improvement. If everything were perfect, what would be left to work on or strive towards?

In our current Inner Circle book of the month , ” Connect to Correct,” we explore the concept of perfection. I’ve often questioned why we, as parents, feel the need for our children to wake up one day and become executive bankers or fit into some predetermined perfect image. The truth is, if our children were already perfect, they wouldn’t need us. Perfection can actually hinder the growth and connection between parents and children.

The pursuit of perfection can also lead to power struggles, especially when we impose unrealistic expectations on our children. Wanting a two-year-old to be prim and proper when they come home? It’s unrealistic and sets the stage for frustration. Personally, I’ve learned that when children come to my house and don’t jump around, it gives me a negative vibe. Perfection is not only unattainable but can also create an environment that stifles the true essence of childhood.

6. Poor Emotions Management The final piece of the puzzle – poor emotions management. Discipline, to me, isn’t about creating drama that leads to trauma for my child. The root of frustration often lies in the inability to manage emotions effectively. It’s a skill not many were taught, and the result is often becoming a drama king or queen, causing unnecessary trauma.

I’ve witnessed instances where parents lose control over their emotions, creating a storm of pressure and drama. I recall a situation with our daughter a couple of years ago. The school contacted us about an incident, and instead of reacting with heightened emotions, my husband and I remained calm. We didn’t succumb to the expectation of creating a dramatic scene. We knew better.

Our daughter explained her side, and we calmly addressed the issue. The teachers, expecting a dramatic response, were surprised. It made me realize the power of not creating drama that leads to trauma for our children. We aren’t in the business of proving ourselves as ‘perfect’ parents; we’re focused on guiding our children through challenges.

It’s crucial to resist the temptation to create unnecessary scenes just for the sake of appearances. Some parents go to school, fueled by the need to show they are perfect. This not only misses the point but also traumatizes the child. Instead, I advocate for understanding and managing our emotions.

We shouldn’t crave drama or noise as a sign of effective parenting. It’s about knowing when to step in and guide, rather than reacting impulsively. I’ve even written a book called “Raising the Independent Thinking Child” that delves into these aspects. The key is not creating drama; it’s about being a pillar of support and understanding for our children. Managing our emotions is at the heart of effective parenting, ensuring that we don’t inadvertently cause trauma in the process.

I Can Show You How to Manage Your Emotions

As you know, my course Becoming an Emotionally Intelligent Parent course is starting soon and as we were onboarding the new participants, this question came in response to the promotion of the course and I would like to address this here.

“Hi, I’m eager to join the course, but I have a question. I am a Chronic Yeller, infact , I can yell for Africa. I have read books on managing my emotions, but I still struggle at the slightest provocation. Do you think that this course can help me parent with calm?”

Without a doubt, my answer is a resounding yes!

Here’s the reality: Your journey towards managing emotions and parenting with calm begins with a commitment to working on yourself. It’s not just wishful thinking; it’s about taking charge and enrolling in this course.

For instance, we’ve witnessed incredible transformations, like a mother of triplets parenting with absolute peace and calm and former chronic yellers breaking free from the habit – all thanks to this course.

So, to address the question directly – yes, I believe the “Becoming an Emotionally Intelligent Parent Course” is tailor-made for any parent aspiring to approach parenting differently in 2024.

The goal is clear: to guide you on the path to work on your
emotions and use them positively in your journey as a parent. But it doesn’t stop there. You’ll gain skills, tools, and knowledge to replicate these results throughout the year.

If you’re considering signing up, act swiftly. Over 700 parents are on board already and the early bird registration ends on January 21st, so this is your only chance to secure the current price of N15,500/ $17. Delaying might mean missing out on this exclusive discount.

To enroll in the course, you can pay N15,500 ($17) to 0509494057 (GT Bank) and send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 09036633600. Alternatively, you can purchase online using this link: https://theintentionalparentacademy.selar.co/emotionalintelligence.

Don’t hesitate—jump onboard now! I hope to see you in class

In your journey of parenting in 2024, becoming emotionally intelligence will be important in your child’s holistic development. An emotionally intelligent parent not only equips their child with the ability to navigate life’s challenges but also contributes to their social success, impulse control, and overall resilience. As we navigate parenting this year, you will need to be mindful of the profound impact our actions have on shaping the emotional intelligence of the next generation. In this blog post, I will be sharing 5 things emotionally intelligent parents won’t do in 2024

Advantages of Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child.

1. More ready to engage: An emotionally intelligent child is ever ready to engage in school activities. He/she is ready to confront whatever situation he finds himself. The child gets involved in things they do and in general.

2. More socially successful: I’ve seen quite a number of parents raise kids who can navigate in the social world. There’s a study that says that children who can navigate their social world in the next 30 years, will have an 80% advantage over their peers.

3. They have impulse control: What many parents do not understand is that impulse control is one of the reasons why children misbehave.

A lot of kids can’t control their impulses because they don’t know what else to do. When you raise a child who understands emotional intelligence, you’ll find out that the child can control those impulses. If you don’t teach the child to do so, he’ll continue to do things anyhow.

Emotionally intelligent children are a product of emotionally intelligent parents. Emotional intelligent skills don’t naturally come upon you but from what you learn. By skills, I mean doing certain things that make your child feel safe enough to express their emotions. When a parent is emotionally intelligent, it’s automatically transferred to the children.

Here are Things Emotionally Intelligent Parents Won’t do in 2024

1. They Won’t Bail Their Children out of Difficult Situations: The reason, why you have a problem when your child is going through consequences is that you don’t have emotional intelligence skills.

Many times, you hear parents say, ” I don’t want my child to suffer”, “I don’t want my child to get angry”, or “I don’t want my child to get upset”. Sometimes, it can be jumping in to pacify a child that’s crying. When you do or say these things, you don’t allow the child to go through different situations like disappointment, anger, failure, agitation, and sadness. You deny them the opportunity to deal with these emotions. For instance, your child fails his exams and is expected to repeat the class. You come home and beat the child because according to you, he didn’t do well. Then you meet with the school authority to beg them to allow your child to move to the next class because you don’t want him to experience failure.

It can also be that your child isn’t doing well in school, and you flog him whenever you are helping out with his assignments but when it’s time to pay for illegal ways like paying for a mercenary to write external exams for him, you’ll gladly do so. You are raising a hypocrite, idiot, and someone that can’t think. I might be coming too hard on you today but trust me you need to hear this.
Studies have shown that children who are exposed to tough situations, and conflicts and how to manage them are more emotionally intelligent.

When a child faces difficult situations, he gains the tools to deal with the situations, however, there’s a caveat- it can only happen if the parents are emotionally intelligent. For eg, we teach failure as a tool in the Inner Circle Academy. Failure is part of the process of raising a child who will be well-rounded, however, what we call failure isn’t necessarily a failure. True failure is when you can’t use that failure as a tool to succeed. Failure is a tool in parenting and mistakes are proofs that your child is learning.

2. They do Not Shut Down Their Children’s Emotions. Often, parents ask their kids, “Why are you crying?” or “Why are you angry? I’m the one having a hard time here!! When you ask such questions, you shut down the child’s emotions. You make them understand that they don’t have the right to feel certain ways. Every single emotion is valid. Studies have shown that adults who had suppressed emotions when they were young have issues building positive relationships and that’s why you find that we have trust issues in relating with people.

3. They Won’t Stop Working on Their Emotions. I have constantly gone through emotional training in the past 10 years because I understand that it’s a journey and not a destination. When you don’t subject yourself to the journey, you’ll have issues. Your emotions are your responsibility to handle. Parenting is an emotional journey because we are constantly battling with different emotions. Learn how to work on your emotions here

4. They Won’t Hide Their Emotions. I see several parents feel disappointed and won’t share with their children that they are and if the child asks, they’ll be like, “I’m fine” while they are not.
You can’t name your emotions because you don’t even know what you feel at the moment. What happens is that the child learns to mask their emotions and become hypocritical. They won’t be able to define what they feel at times. When you say I’m okay or I’m fine, you are being hypocritical because you think that you ought to be perfect. You don’t need PERFECTION but TRAINING. When you make mistakes, don’t mask them because you have bought into an infallibility narrative. When you become vulnerable in your parenting journey, you don’t lose credibility rather you gain trust and trust is the biggest currency in your journey.

Putting up a facade of perfection, hiding your emotions, and hiding failures are not good examples but show that you have no emotional intelligence. Your children need to see you make mistakes and admit them and by so doing, you teach them to take responsibility for their actions.

5. They Are Not Reactive to Situations but proactive. The parent thinks about the process and then takes him/herself out of the process of helping the child. When a child fails, an emotionally intelligent parent uses the tools to help the child become better by using that same failure but the child of a no emotionally intelligent parent struggles.

In your journey as a parent, you need to understand that you are the most important pace. Parenting is about you and not your child. You need to connect to correct and you do that by working on your emotions.

Imagine this…

Imagine this… – it’s a school morning, and your child is getting ready for school. Suddenly, they start throwing tantrums, and their breakfast cereal pours on the only school uniform available.

Instead of yelling, you respond calmly, cleaning up the mess while keeping your cool.

But wait, there’s more…

You’re out shopping with the whole family. Your five-year-old creates a scene, demanding a toy you didn’t plan to buy. Amidst judgmental stares, you manage your emotions without exploding. In the midst of it all, they throw themselves on the floor crying.

or how about this…

Your school-age child decides to redecorate your freshly painted walls with soup but you still keep your cool.

Sounds like a dream right? (Especially if you currently struggle with your emotions) Nonetheless! this can be your everyday reality — when you learn how to manage your emotions.

This is exactly why I created The Becoming an Intentional Parent Course. This transformative course offers practical insights on how to manage your emotions positively on your parenting journey.

For the next few days, I’m offering the earliest bird discount of up to 50% off. Seize this opportunity to embark on a journey of intentional parenting and transform the way you handle those challenging parenting moments.

To join the Becoming the Emotionally Intelligent Parent course, pay N15,500 ($17) to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy and send proof of payment through WhatsApp chat to 09036633600.

You can purchase online using this link:

https://theintentionalparentacademy.selar.co/emotionalintelligence

90% of the parents who come to me have a problem with controlling their emotions and yelling. I often hear them say, \” I want to react calmly to my child’s misbehavior, but I can’t.”. The truth is that we want what’s best for our kids and that is why so many parents make choices that lead to frustration. Sadly, the frustration leads to the programming of the children’s brains. Yelling at your children can solve a problem at the moment but can make your child’s behavior even worse which means you have to yell more to try to correct them and the cycle continues.

I\’ve seen a lot of parents who pray for them to stop yelling but the truth is, parenting with calm is a skill and not a wish. I have once been to that point where I was wishing it\” but until I learned the skills needed to stop yelling absolutely, nothing changed. What happens is that amid the chaos, our emotional brain gets stirred up and we lose sight of our logical brain. When the brain becomes overloaded with emotions, reactivity begins which comes in the form of yelling or screaming, and none can help deal with your children. It’s our month of calm and in this post, I’m going to be sharing with you 5 skills you need to stop yelling and I added a bonus point.

• Communication Skills: Communicating effectively doesn’t mean being calm. You can be a calm person but do not have the tools to communicate effectively. Also, being aggressive does not guarantee that your child will listen to you. There\’s a possibility that they are afraid of you. A large number of parents struggle with yelling because they have communication issues. Effective communication skills mean that your children can hear and understand you.
• Emotional Intelligence Skills: Keeping quiet doesn’t equal managing your emotions. When people hear me talk about not yelling, one of the things that come to their mind is keeping mute when their children misbehave. When you keep quiet whenever they misbehave, instead of controlling your emotions, you\’ll erupt after some time and that can be damaging. Some skills need to be learned and emotional intelligence is one of them. You can’t manage your emotions if you are not emotionally intelligent and you\’ll continue to yell.
• Discipline Skills: Discipline is structure. Without discipline, you can\’t effectively stop yelling, and you can\’t succeed. Structure helps your children understand discipline policies and how things should go. The schools are on holiday and many parents dread the holiday already because it is a period of yelling and screaming for them. Creating and planning for the holiday with the academy\’s Ultimate Holiday Bundle can
  be of great help instead of spending the holiday as it comes.
• Leadership Skills: Parenting is servant leadership. It is leadership skills that let you know that you need to learn and train yourself. I shared with the parents in TIP about the servant leadership model. Every time the twins come back home from boarding school, there is a welcome settlement with posters, balloon decorations, and a sumptuous meal. It takes a lot of our time but it\’s servant leadership and by so doing, we teach our children how to become servant leaders. That is the only leadership system that works in parenting. A parent is a servant leader and that helps you recognize that there are a lot of wrong things. If you do not learn how to lead, you will struggle with yelling.
• Learning Skills: Learning doesn’t take place in a brain that has been programmed to yelling. A good number of us were raised with yelling so our brains have been programmed as yelling machines and that’s the only way they know how to respond. While teaching the \”Understanding Your Child\’s Learning Style\” course, I taught the parents about the neuroplasticity ability of the brain where you can retrain your brain also known as reprogramming ( teaching your brain to do things differently). If you don’t reprogram your brain, no matter how much you want to change or try to be different, you will still struggle because that is how your brain has been structured. The risk is that your children\’s brains are also being programmed to yell.
• Connection Skills: Connection simply means building a relationship with your children. Connection is fusing, being with, and talking with them. If you do not connect with your children, you won\’t stop yelling. The more you connect with your kids, the less you yell. The important question you need to ask yourself is, ” Am I willing to stop yelling?”

Parenting with calm starts with you. You need to parent with a firm, calm, and compassionate tone. It allows the child\’s brain to stay open and learn. Focus more on yourself and less on your kids. You have the most control over yourself and your response to a given situation. On this holiday, put up a structure based on activities and games that will keep you and your children occupied and at the same time entertaining. It will help you connect with them.

Anger and Yelling are the biggest frustrations of parents.

My name is Wendy Ologe, I am known as The Intentional Parent. If you know my journey, you will know that parenting with peace and calm is possible.

I was that chronic Yeller who worked so hard to achieve calmness as a parent. I didn\’t stop with myself I’ve worked with over 10,000 parents to let go of their anger and build deep, connected relationships with their children and spouses.

After authoring 10 parenting best sellers; Connect To Correct, Walking your Child Through Puberty, The Discipline That Works, Sex educate like a Pro Volume 1, Sex Educate Like a Pro Volume 2, From Yelling to Calm, Parenting Launch Plan, Resolving Sibling Rivalry, Raising Independent Thinking Child, and How To Love your child more that have sold in their tens of thousands; with over 30 parenting guides …. Parents have asked I put together tools and strategies that can help one move you from Yelling to Calm.

Yes, here we go 💃💃I’m offering you a 5-day accountability challenge, where I guide and give you strategies that will take you from yelling to Calm.

I guarantee this Challenge will change your life as a parent:
📌If you are a parent that struggles with anger, do you need this Challenge?

📌If you have been Yelling at your children and actually get tired at some point you need to join this challenge .

📌If you are looking for alternative ways to modify your child\’s behavior without shouting down everyone, you need this Challenge.

Join me for this challenge as I share with you how I walked through my own journey from being a yeller to a calm Parent. In this 5 days Challenge will give you a jump start on your journey to tame your temper.

In 5 days, you WILL notice a change in how often you yell at your children. You will learn how to

• Dramatically decrease how often you lose your temper with your children.
• Feel more confident in your ability to stay calm when things get chaotic.
• Create a happier, more relaxed home for your entire family.
• Ways to move from a consistent yeller to a calmer parent.
• How to use proven strategies and tools to modify behaviors in your children without having to yell.

The first 100 participants to register will get my book 30 Days Sex Conversation Guide; a practical guide on age-appropriate Sex conversations for any age group. To register for the 5-day No Yelling Challenge:

OFFLINE PAYMENT
Pay N4,999 to 0509494057, GTBank, The Intentional Parent Academy. After payment, send your full name, and proof of payment to the team: WhatsApp 0903 663 3600 or 0812 968 7040

ONLINE PAYMENT https://selar.co/Noyellingchallenge
Please Note: This first early bird registration ends on the 14th of April after that it rises to N5,999. If I can ditch yelling, you too can.
Come let\’s parent with Peace and Calm

Oftentimes, discipline is seen as a negative aspect of parenting associated with punishment, yelling, and flogging. A large number of people believe so due to a lack of knowledge which is why many parents struggle with how best to discipline their children. When parents talk to me, they sound exhausted and almost at the point of giving up on parenting. Some go as far as tagging their children as bad because the children do not obey their instructions which results in yelling and beating.

Having worked with parents in the past 5 years, it\’s obvious that no parent enjoys beating their children. The reason why you always go for the alternative is that you are stressed and do not know what to do or understand how things should go.

The \”Understanding your child\’s learning style\” course started on Tuesday and after the first module, a lot of parents regret hitting their children because they now know better. When you yell and hit your children, you\’ve lost language and become violent. Repeated shouting and hitting can adversely impact your child\’s entire life. The long-term effects of repeated shouting and hitting can be detrimental to a child\’s overall well-being, creating toxic stress and causing negative outcomes. Instead, discipline should be viewed as a powerful tool for teaching and learning. It can help children develop important life skills and build strong, positive relationships with their caregivers. Discipline can also be used as an effective tool for building strong and positive relationships.

There are ways you can use discipline to help your child learn and at the same time grow and one of them is self-discipline skills.

Self-discipline skills should be the ultimate goal of any parenting strategy. While many of us may believe that we are already disciplined individuals we pride that we are a disciplined generation, the truth is that we often lack structure. Self-discipline involves creating a structure and committing to it, even in the face of challenges.

Teaching your child self-discipline can help them in various ways, including:

• Delaying gratification
•Resisting unhealthy temptations such as drug addiction or pornography
•Developing the ability to tolerate discomfort in order to reach long-term goals

Self-discipline is essential to helping your child become a responsible adult. There are eight effective ways that you can use to teach your child self-discipline.

1 . Structure: Establishing a daily routine for your child is essential for them to know what tasks they are expected to complete each day. By following a routine, they are less likely to get sidetracked by other distractions. For example, a well-structured morning routine will help your child wake up on time, have breakfast, brush their teeth, and get dressed. Similarly, a well-planned afternoon routine will enable them to allocate their time for completing chores and homework. Finally, a consistent bedtime routine will help them wind down and fall asleep more easily.

2 . Values And Not Rules: Establishing a strong value system for your child provides them with something concrete to rely on, beyond just enforcing rules. In today\’s world, where children are more daring and more inclined to take risks, having a set of values can prevent them from indulging in certain behavior. Rules are not bad but they are a subset of values. Values are fundamental principles that shape one\’s actions and decisions. By instilling these values in your children, you can transform the atmosphere of your home. Children are more likely to embrace and internalize values, rather than feeling coerced by rules.

3 . Consequences: A lot of parents jump in to bail their children at any given opportunity and if you continue, you make a mess. Instead, it\’s essential to teach children about the cause-and-effect relationship between their actions and consequences. In some cases, natural consequences can provide valuable life lessons. Natural consequences can teach some life lessons. When a child forgets to grab his coat and goes outside in the cold, the natural consequence is that he will end up feeling cold. Children need to know the importance of logical consequences. It helps you avoid a power struggle.

Forcing them to do something won\’t teach them self-discipline. The moment you begin to fight with your child, you begin to try to prove that you are his parent and that shows something is wrong. Explain the logical consequences to the child for making poor choices. Your child learns from consequences.

4 . Behavior: Parenting is a process and not a destination. When you make it a destination, you lose track. You need to shape behavior one step at a time and not look for a quick fix. Remember that it is not about your intention but about the process. The process is more important than the outcome because if the process is right, the outcome is going to be
right too but if you focus on the outcome, you miss the process.

5 . Positive Attention: Most times, we do not know how to point out good behaviors rather we criticize and complain always. You must give good attention and praise when your child demonstrates self-discipline. It helps the child do better.

6 . Problem-solving skills: Problem-solving is a core aspect of self-discipline. Teach your children how to solve problems. Many of our children can\’t solve problems on their own because we are constantly trying to solve problems for them. You can\’t raise a child who can\’t think independently without teaching them how to solve problems and your child can\’t learn if they can\’t solve problems.

7 . Modelling: Parenting is about you and not your child. Before you teach, you model. For instance, If you want your child to cultivate the habit of reading, you need to model it to them.

In conclusion, discipline is not about punishing your children for their mistakes. Discipline is about structure that helps build habits. As a parent, your goal in parenting is to build habits that last and skills that transform. If you cant build sustainable habits on your parenting journey, you may need to re-evaluate your approach.

Modules 1 – 4 of the Learning Styles Course 2023 have all gone live and in the words of one of our participants, this year’s Learning Style Course came with a lot of Intercontinental Ballistic Misslies of Knowledge.

Over 1,000 parents have joined this course as at today. Still in doubt on whether this course is for you , check out these reviews. You still have a chance to join and catch up on all of the modules so far.

To register, simply click here: https://selar.co/Learningstylecourse or pay N18,500 directly to 0509494057 (GTB). The Intentional Parent Academy. Send your proof of payment to 09036633600.

As parents, we all want our children to succeed in life. We hope that they will grow up to be happy, fulfilled, and able to handle any challenges that come their way. However, many children miss out on learning essential life skills and how to handle real-world situations until they become adults. While schools play a crucial role in a child\’s education, these skills are primarily learned at home. As parents, it\’s our responsibility to provide our children with the tools they need to succeed, and there is a critical window of opportunity during which we can do so.

In this blog post, I will discuss seven core skills that will help your child collaborate with others effectively. These skills are invaluable and will benefit your child for a lifetime.

1. Executive Functioning Skills: Executive functioning skills that encompasses a broad set of cognitive skills that are performed by the executive part of the brain. These skills are often overlooked but essential for success in many areas of life. The following skills are included in executive functioning:

A. Adaptable And Critical Thinking: When it comes to creativity, there are 2 kinds of strategies namely

• Red ocean, and
• Blue ocean strategies.
  Blue ocean strategists think out of the box. They do or create things from scratch and off the beaten path. They do a lot of critical thinking while the red ocean strategists do what I call copy and paste. They simply copy what someone else has done and replicate it with a little tweak. When it comes to parenting, we are mostly red ocean strategists. We do what is readily available.

Most of us were not raised to ask \”why\”. Adaptable thinking helps you question things that you used to know. He who knows why is greater and superior to he who knows how. How is important but if your child knows the why, it helps the child create without sticking to the known way/method. Adaptable and critical thinking makes your child stand out. It allows your child to recreate a circumstance using the same system, i.e, thinking of alternative ways to solve the same problem.

B. Planning: Most of us were raised with the mentality that whatever will be, will be. However, it is essential to learn how to plan as building on principles and plans can help us achieve the desired results. As Bishop Oyedepo rightly puts it, \”prayer without planning is like living in the woods without knowing it.\” Sometimes we pray for things but fail to plan for them, assuming that they will just happen on their own. However, as the scripture says, \”Have you ever seen someone who is about to build his house and didn\’t count the cost?\” Therefore, when we set off to parent, we need to count the cost, which includes the knowledge we need to acquire, the finances required, and the time involved.\”

C. Decision-making: When you expose your children to this executive functioning skill, it helps them make better decisions. Most of us do not know how to make critical decisions and in turn, we do not know how to teach our children. Decision-making will help the children take full responsibility.

D. Self-monitoring And Self-control: This is one aspect of the executive functioning skills that we don\’t pay attention to. This skill is all about monitoring and controlling what is happening to a person at every point in time. It helps your child to be able to look and see where there is a gap and know when to fill it up. That\’s why emotional intelligence is key.

E. Working Memory: You develop working memory in your children through the things they do daily. Putting them on the screen and not replacing the screen with educational activities will slow down their working memory.

F. Time Management And Organization: A lot of us get overwhelmed because we do not know how to manage our time and that\’s the reason why a lot of parents complain that they do not have the time to parent their children or read books. The interesting thing is that everyone on earth has 24 hours in a day and those who can create or produce maximize theirs. If 24 hours isn\’t enough for you, then it shows that you are a poor home manager. Being organized helps your child to manage his space and time.

1. Social Skills. Social skills are as broad as executive functioning skills, encompassing communication, listening, and collaboration.
   Effective communication is essential for success in personal and professional life. Your child needs to learn how to use different communication methods appropriately, express themselves clearly, and actively listen. These skills are not typically taught in schools, but rather at home. If you cannot communicate effectively with your children, they will struggle to do so with others. If all your child learns about communication is through yelling, they will model that behavior.
   Encourage your children to speak, collaborate, and make friends. Human beings thrive in communities and need relationships. Some parents discourage their children from having friends out of fear of negative influence. However, children will be influenced regardless, so it is crucial to teach them to choose positive influences. Collaborating with others can help prevent social awkwardness. Remember, there is no prosperity without relationships and associations.\”
2. Financial Literacy Skills: The knowledge of money is more important than what you bequeath to your children. A lot of us think that financial literacy means leaving some property and cash for our children. Financial literacy isn\’t just about money it involves having the knowledge of and understanding of how to manage money. A lot of people get uncomfortable when the issue of money is talked about because while growing up our parents did not teach us ways to make money.
3. Self-directed And Engage Learning: To teach this skill to your child, you need to encourage the love for learning and limit your child\’s access to the screen. A child who loves learning rarely becomes bored in life. To achieve that, you have to start from their
   strength to their weakness. To recognize their strengths, you need to understand how your child learns because it is their learning strength. Self-directed and engaged learning skill helps model curiosity and enthusiasm for learning in life.
4. Resilience Skills: One of the most important traits we can develop in life is resilience. It is also known as a take-on challenge. It is about being able to take on challenges and bounce back from failure. A lot of parents are afraid that their children will fail but there\’s beauty in failure. It gives you the edge of making better comebacks. Learning to understand why failure is good changes the game for you as a parent.
5. Focus Skills: Attention is the new code. To drive attention, you need focus. To make money, you need to drive attention. Teach your children to focus. To build attention,
   start by teaching them to focus on a thing. Distraction is a big killer and one of them is the screen( phones, tablets, televisions) These things take away focus. They are addictions.
6. Perspective Thinking: Thinking about another point of view does not come naturally to a lot of people. It can be developed by discussing the character\’s feelings and motivations in books. You can help your child by helping them observe how others are feeling by asking them questions based on a movie or what they\’ve read. This skill makes them more empathic and empathy is about how the decisions you make can affect the next person.
7. Decision-making And Problem-solving Skills: A lot of us don\’t like taking responsibility for our decisions. We do the blame game. When you take decisions, you must critically look at the aspects of the
   decisions. The aspect of decision-making must not be dependent on anybody. Many of us were not taught to solve problems and that is why we can\’t create. Creativity is a function of problem-solving. Children who are taught to solve problems can create and they are also good at mathematics and mathematics is solved because it is a problem.

A child is a product of who raised him, how he was raised, and what the person that raised him knows. You can be an advantage or disadvantage to your child. Prayer alone doesn\’t solve parenting problems. It requires the knowledge you acquire, and how effectively you put them to use. When you pray, you plan. Your children\’s school won\’t and can\’t give them the skills they need in life. The reason why some children struggle is that there are gaps and they need to be filled.

TIP academy is built around executive
functioning skills. We give parents tools to help them plan.

WHAT IS THE INNER CIRCLE ABOUT?

Parenting today has gone beyond, intuition, experience, and opinion, it\’s now about evidence. Knowing with exactitude the outcome of your journey. And that is what we provide at the academy.

Parenting is about the process, not just Tips and Hacks!! Do you want to build a strong value system and form a foundation so strong to destroy? Do you want to understand why your children act the way they do and help them become better?

⚫️Imagine building a parenting plan and following through in the year with accountability system provided?

⚫️Imagine having direct access to Coach Wendy Ologe throughout the year; Access to coach worth over #1M $2,000

⚫️Imagine having access to webinars worth #100,000 ($200) every month?

You don\’t want to keep imagining .These and many more are the benefits of being in the Inner circle. We worked with over 1,000 parents in 2022 and we currently have over 2,500 New parents enrolled for 2023.

The annual subscription fee for the program is N70, 000. Fee will be reviewed to 100,000/annum soon but if you book now it won’t affect you.You book a slot at the enquiry desk with a non-refundable fee of N5,000 for 2023 cohort, and pay your annual fee of N65,000 which you can decide to pay at once N70,000.

Simply book by using this link https://selar.co/tipinnercircle or make direct payment to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy, then send a chat with proof of payment to 08129687040.

Only 3 Days To Go And the 2023 Cohort of the “Understanding Your Child’s Learning Style Course”

Are you in yet?
You snooze you miss!

Understanding Your Child’s Learning Style Course 2023 is about, to begin with a bang 🤩🤩💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻

DO YOU KNOW HOW YOUR CHILD LEARNS?

When you know your child\’s learning style

📍You can choose effective study methods that complement those strengths.

📍You will understand how best to teach those simple skills without any form of frustration.

📍You will also be able to choose an effective disciplinary measure for your child, not just trial and error.

📍You will be at peace on your journey as a parent.

🎯We started running the \”Understanding Your child\’s learning style\” course in 2018 and over the years, we have trained over 10,000 parents to understand how their children learn. I remember at the very first batch a particular parent said to me \”Coach Wendy I wish I attended this course some 20 years ago, some of the challenges I had with my son won\’t have had it.\”

Do you know the amazing thing? You get a 25% discount if you pay before the 25th of March. So instead of paying N20,500, you get to pay only N15,500.

Register for the Learning Style Course here: https://selar.co/Learningstylecourse or pay #15,500 to 0509494057 (GTB). The Intentional Parent Academy. Send proof to 09036633600.

Are there principles that work in parenting? Many have argued that there are no rules or principles but parenting is about doing what works for you or what you know. Little wonder we have the result of ineffective parenting all around us. Think about it, whatever works has guiding principles and values or rules that make them work. Without those principles, all we do is work with the probability of maybe or maybe not, if or if not.

Principles work in parenting but the question is, \”do we know them? Are you applying those principles? There are lots of principles and practices that can be applied to raise children who thrive but I have listed a few of them to help us navigate through our parenting journey.

1. Principle of Safe System: Safety tops the chart when it comes to the principles of parenting a child that thrives. When it comes
   to the safety of a child, parents look at the physical aspect of it. What comes to mind is, \”I need to protect my child from people talking down at them or bullying them.\” Safety goes beyond that mindset. It entails other aspects that make up a system that makes the child thrive. Safety for a child comprises of:

A. Predictability- Unpredictability is an enemy of intentional parenting. When you create an unpredictable system, you create an unsafe environment for your child. To create a predictable system, you have to put together a system that your child has and work with routines and structure.

B. Support– It is all about encouraging and supporting your child in what they have a flair for.

C. Discipline– Discipline is core to achieving safety for your child. Your child can\’t be safe in a system that does not entail discipline. Discipline is structure and routines. It is not about being aggressive, hitting, or yelling at your child.

D. Mistakes– Mistake is a proof that your child is learning. Mistakes are opportunities for your child to learn. Your child should be able to make mistakes to feel safe. A child who is afraid of making mistakes in a home isn\’t safe and can not learn.

E. Failures– No one succeeds without failing multiple times. The fear of failure is one of the major reasons why many shy away from being creative in this part of the world. If your child can not fail within the confines of the environment you have created, you\’ll fail to help your child. It is safe for your children to fail at home, and learn from their failures before launching out into the real world.

F. Opportunities– You must create an environment in your home that give opportunities for your children to learn. Do not confine them to the \”perfect world\” you have created for them to live in.

1. Principle of Values And Not Rules: A home with sets of values instead of rules helps the children own the process. Values are game changers in parenting. When you set rules, you limit your child and give them a fixed mindset. When you set values, you give them a limitless mindset.
2. Principle of Responsibility: If your child isn\’t taking responsibility, it means someone else is taking it for them. It means that you are not only absolving them of work but also absolving them of the ability to learn the work and understand the process. It makes them understand that the work has to be done and that we all have to be part of the puzzle to get the work done. A Harvard study shows that children who do chores strive better in the work environment than their contemporaries when they become young adults. In one of my best-selling books, \”Raising An Independent Thinking Child\”, I stated that you should never do for your child what he can do by himself. A dependent child is a demanding child. A demanding child will weary you forever. Children become irresponsible only when we fail to give them responsibilities.
3. Principle of Honor And Not Obedience: I won\’t say much on this point because only parents in the Inner circle that follow a process will understand better. Honor is a knowledge that ranks higher than obedience. When your children obey you always, you are raising zombies and that\’s where honor comes in. The principle of honor and not obedience teaches you to raise a child who
   will think for themselves and not a child that will obey every word you say. It is vital because you are not infallible as a parent. The infallibility narrative is a false narrative. When you teach honor over obedience, you raise the bar for your children-this means that your children understand your place and can think for themselves.
4. Principle of Mentorship: In a session with the level 2 parents in the inner circle, I talked to them about parenting partners. Many times, we do not understand that our children need a system. You can not parent all by yourself. You need people who understand the process that is introduced in your children\’s lives because a time will come when your children won\’t tell you everything. Introduce models who are you because, at some point in their lives, they will start to discover who they are especially in their teenage years.
5. Principle of Knowledge And Learning: Parents who raise successful children learn, research, and understand child development and growth. When you parent by probability ( doing what works for you) and lack knowledge, you set your children up for failure. The reason is that every child is unique and different. You help each child with their uniqueness. Assumption stems up due to a lack of knowledge. Your children are products of your knowledge- how they were raised, the environment they were raised in, and what the person who raised them knows.
6. Principle of Intentional Parenting: Intentional parenting is not about raising perfect children but about raising children through a process and structure. Intentional parents are ready to admit their child\’s flaws and help them overcome them instead of projecting perfection. No one course, class,
   webinar or workshop can get you through your parenting journey but a system/process to which you commit yourself and the system in turn, hold you accountable.
7. Principle of Connection, Communication, and Conversation: This is a principle of being able to create a relationship with your children. Relationship trumps control in parenting. When you enforce control, you can\’t influence your children and you will lose authority. Authority isn\’t force or control but trust and respect.

Parenting is a journey that has no end but a process. Doing \”what works for you\” is simply setting your child up for failure. Truth is inaction itself. It is a rule for people who will fail at a thing. Having the mindset of not guiding your children and believing that they will learn on their own is inaction and parenting on probability.

Many believe that we don\’t teach discipline in the Inner Circle because we don\’t preach hitting the child or yelling as forms of discipline. As I said earlier, discipline is structure and routine and that is what we help parents in the Inner circle accomplish by creating systems, family values, visions, and missions so that your children can internalize what you are teaching. We help create tools for parents to connect, communicate and converse with their children.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE INNER CIRCLE

WHAT IS THE INNER CIRCLE ABOUT?

Parenting today has gone beyond, intuition, experience, and opinion, it\’s now about evidence. Knowing with exactitude the outcome of your journey. And that is what we provide at the academy.

Parenting is about the process, not just Tips and Hacks!! Do you want to build a strong value system and form a foundation so strong to destroy? Do you want to understand why your children act the way they do and help them become better?

⚫️Imagine building a parenting plan and following through in the year with accountability system provided?

⚫️Imagine having direct access to Coach Wendy Ologe throughout the year; Access to coach worth over #1M $2,000

⚫️Imagine having access to webinars worth #100,000 ($200) every month?

You don\’t want to keep imagining .These and many more are the benefits of being in the Inner circle.We worked with over 1,000 parents in 2022 and we currently have over 2,500 New parents enrolled for 2023.

The annual subscription fee for the program is N70, 000. Fee will be reviewed to 100,000/annum soon but if you book now it won’t affect you.

You book a slot at the enquiry desk with a non-refundable fee of N5,000 for 2023 cohort, and pay your annual fee of N65,000 which you can decide to pay at once N70,000

Simply book by using this link https://selar.co/tipinnercircle or make direct payment to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy, then send a chat with proof of payment to 08129687040.

At our upcoming course “UNDERSTANDING YOUR CHILDS LEARNING STYLE “ we will show you how you can eliminate these screams at assignment times and teach your child study skills by understanding how they learn better. We will also show you how you can get to know how you learn better.

We have almost 1,000 participants registered for this course both parents and teachers we have the second early bird offer ending in 3 days… If you are a sucker for learning, Dont misses out on this course to learn how to raise lifelong learners not just people who pass exams.

Are you in?

Register for the Learning Style Course and take advantage of the early bird offer here: https://selar.co/Learningstylecourse or pay #15,500 instead of 20,000 to 0509494057 (GTB). The Intentional Parent Academy. Send proof to 09036633600.

Offer valid only in 72 hours.

Do you feel like your child is struggling with learning? Are you concerned about your child\’s academic progress? Are you wondering if your child struggles with poor attention span or has cognitive difficulties? Are you wondering if they are just slow learners or outrightly lazy learners?

If so, you are not alone. Many parents face these challenges, especially with the typical educational system that most schools adopt. Excitingly, today, we\’ll explore the reasons why some children struggle to learn and provide you with practical strategies that you can use to help your children succeed academically.

Last week, I had a session with a family and before I could commence with the child, the parents informed me that I needed to be patient with their son because according to them, he\’s not very smart. I was taken aback because they have labeled the boy. To them, it sounded good and okay but as a student of psychology, labeling a child is a problem. It creates a fixed mindset. When you see your child\’s academic results as an indication of the child\’s cognitive ability instead of a reflection of how the child is taught, then you miss it because a reflection of the child\’s academic result is how a child is taught, the child\’s study habits developed over time, and how much effort he has put in.

No child is dumb. Every child is born a genius but the way we parent them and the things we say to them are essential. If a child is not learning, it means that there is something wrong with the way the child is being taught. For your child to learn, even for adults, you need to recreate the system where your child has a dominant learning style. For instance, when we learned that our son is a kinesthetic learner, I started buying books with cartoon characters to get him to key into what we wanted him to learn, and then found a school that understood his learning style. Now he learns through auditory and visual but he\’s predominantly a kinesthetic learner. The most powerful thing any child needs to be taught is learning as a skill. It gives you and your child a good understanding and also put a stop to hiring a home lesson tutor.

However, when it comes to labeling, be it positive or negative, can be harmful. Research shows that constantly telling your child that he is smart can be bad for the child. Labeling positively or negatively creates a fixed mindset. It creates an identity the child feels compelled to protect at all costs and which can be dangerous. The book, \”Mindset- The New Psychology of Success\” by Professor Carol Derwick, shows that people who are praised for inert intelligence tend to shy away or give up quickly on challenges that threaten their smart identity. So a child with a fixed mindset, their self-worth is all about passing exams. An individual\’s mindset plays an important role.

The growth mindset says, \” I can learn to do anything I want but a fixed mindset says, \”I am good at this or I am not good at this.\”

The growth mindset says, \”my effort determines my ability but a fixed mindset says, \”my potential is predetermined.

The growth mindset says, \”I\’m inspired, motivated, and challenged by the success of others but a fixed mindset says, \”I don\’t like to be challenged. I just want to stay in what I know. I\’m not moved by the success of others.\”

The growth mindset says, \”challenges help me grow but a fixed mindset takes feedback personally. It easily gives up when faced with a challenge or hit a roadblock.

STEPS TO TEACH YOUR CHILD HOW TO LEARN.

Neuroscience shows that our brain can rewire and upgrade itself to gain competence, and new skill and consolidate a piece of new knowledge. The effort, strain, and struggles the child puts up enables the brain to step up. To begin to teach your children to learn, you should:

1.Teach Them To Honor Struggles. As a parent, you should avoid jumping in to rescue your children at any slightest mistake. When a new concept or difficulty is introduced, the brain rises to step up the neurons in the brain, and string them together to consolidate the information and through that process, it\’s called Myelination. The neural network is wired together timely. Children build confidence when they struggle and overcome.

2 . Do Not Label But Commend Their Efforts. Let your child know that learning is in the process and the effort they put in. Do not applaud the child when he doesn\’t do things right, especially when you are busy. Tell the child in direct terms what he needs to do right, where he needs to put in more effort, or where he needs to do some corrections.

3 . Understand Your Child\’s Learning Style. Understanding your child\’s learning style is a game changer for you and your child. It does not only help your child learn but also helps you to know the disciplinary strategy that is effective for your child. For instance, when correcting a visual learner and you are just talking, the child will be distracted and won\’t take the corrections but an auditory learner will listen more to what is being said. Also, get your children to do their research about learning and understanding their learning styles.

4 . Help Your Child Build Focus And Improve Memory. To build focus, you have to help your child increase their capacity to pay attention. The focus ability is dwindling every day because we keep our children on the screen daily. The more you keep your child on the screen, the more they struggle. The screen takes away concentration and the ability to focus. A child under 2 years of age has no business with the screen no matter what you think the child is learning.

5 . Create A Structure And Stick To A Daily Habit. Unpredictability is an enemy of intentional parenting. Having a structureless system where the children wake up to do anything they want won\’t help them. What makes your child exceptional are habits that last and skills that can transform.

6 . Understand Your Learning Style. Some parents teach their children according to their own(parents) learning styles. Knowing and understanding your learning style will help you to know how to teach your child and not teach by assumption.

7 . Create A Study Habit. Teach your children study habits. Allocate a time and a place where studying should take place at home. It is your responsibility as a parent to understand your children\’s learning style and make them run with it. It is a game changer. Applying the above steps will help you understand their learning style and also yours. The challenge is that a lot of us were raised with a fixed mindset and that\’s why we struggle. There is a time that learning and understanding your child\’s learning style will be of no use.

Do you know that understanding your child\’s learning style might be the singular solution to her learning difficulties really?

In the Academy, we run a course where we just don\’t teach parents how to identify the learning styles of their children, we also teach them how to use this learning styles to make their children study effectively and even discipline them correctly.

Do you also know that until you understand how your child learns your discipline will not be effective.

Do you know how your child learns?Could your child be struggling to learn that thing you are teaching because you are not teaching with her dominant learning style?

Register for our upcoming course \”Understanding your child\’s learning style\” starting March 28th, 2023. Our second Early bird offer ends in 5 days.

A particular parent after going through the course said \”I wish I knew this 20 years ago, I won\’t have had the power struggles I had with my son \”

This could be the singular most important thing you should know about your child. Join 800 parents currently on board this train to understanding how their children learns

Register for the Learning Style Course : https://selar.co/Learningstylecourse or pay #15,500 (instead of 20,500, offer expires in 5days) to 0509494057 (GTB). The Intentional Parent Academy. Send proof to 09036633600.

In celebration of Coach Wendy\’s birthday, you can get your hands on Coach Wendy\’s transformational parenting resources at an unbeatable price of just N1,000 each! That\’s right, we are having a store wide price slash of all her best-selling ebooks and guides, as well as exclusive access to inner circle masterclasses and challenge replays are available at this unbelievable price.

And if you\’ve been curious about the amazing testimonials from the Yarder parents academy, now is your chance to experience it for yourself! For just N1,000 ($2.5), you can gain access to our exclusive inner circle masterclasses and get a taste of what makes The Inner circle program so transformational.

To take advantage of this incredible offer, simply visit our online store today at 👉👉 https://bit.ly/1Kbirthdayslash and browse through our extensive selection of parenting resources. And don\’t forget, her parenting bestsellers are also part of this amazing deal! (E-copies only).

Don\’t wait any longer, this offer won\’t last forever. Celebrate World Wendy Day in style by investing in your parenting journey today!

The concept of parenting is often overlooked when it comes to nation-building, but it is in fact a crucial factor that shapes the character, values, and skills of the citizens who will drive the progress and prosperity of the nation. Developed nations recognize this and use parenting as a deliberate strategy to build their nations, and I strongly believe that parenting is the bedrock of our own nation.

Did you know that the success or failure of a nation is largely attributed to its leadership? Do you know that leadership can make or mar a nation . Effective leadership can drive a nation towards progress and prosperity, while poor leadership can lead to stagnation and decline. It is important to recognize that this leadership is nurtured and raised in the home.

Parenting plays a pivotal role in all family settings globally, and by extension, in the success of a nation. In order for a nation to succeed, parents have a critical task to fulfill which is to teach, guide, instruct, and shape the next generation. They are responsible for molding children into responsible, productive, and compassionate members of society.

One of the biggest errors that we make in this part of the world is equating parenting solely with success in education and career achievement. However, parenting encompasses much more than that. It involves instilling values, building character, fostering emotional intelligence, and nurturing relationships. Parenting is a holistic endeavor that shapes the overall well-being and fulfillment of the child, not just their academic and professional success.

Nation building refers to the process of creating and developing a nation, particularly one that has recently gained independence. It is a crucial part of any nation. Nation building is not a random occurrence, it doesn’t happen by accident , but rather a deliberate and intentional effort led by exemplary individuals who are committed to promoting good governance and socio-economic development. In order to ensure the sustainability of nation building, institutions must be established and maintained to support the development and progress of the nation.

After over six decades of independence, Nigeria has continued to experience a decline from its original state. Extensive research has identified numerous challenging factors that hinder the nation-building process. However, one crucial aspect of nation-building that is often overlooked is the role of patriotism among citizens. Patriotism cannot thrive unless it is intentionally cultivated through intentional parenting. Therefore, while these challenges do impact the growth and development of Nigeria as a nation, it is important to recognize that cultivating patriotism through parenting is an essential component of successful nation-building.

The quality of every nation is a direct reflection of the quality of her citizens and the quality of her citizens is determined primarily by the quality of the families that they come from and the quality of families depends on the quality of Parents. What we see today is a direct reflection of the quality of citizens we have and that’s also a direct reflection of the kind of the families that we are building and the quality of the family is dependent on the quality of the parents. This is why parents must commit to building themselves . There is no magic that can happen in any nation if we don’t commit to building ourselves as parents.

The reason for our constant clamor for change since the election is rooted in our failure to raise better individuals. In order to foster better individuals, we must first re-parent ourselves. It is essential to take a closer look at how we can re-parent ourselves in order to bring about the positive change that we seek.This was why I started the transformational work we do at The Intentional Parent Academy.

How To Be Involved In Nation Building

1. Be Intentional : Parents must become intentional in every aspect of their parenting journey. It is crucial to commit to continually learning and gathering parenting knowledge. In this day and age, it is no longer acceptable to dismiss the need for learning. As parents, we must also reprogram our thought process. Our own parents may have carried their own trauma, which has been passed down to us. It is our responsibility to break this cycle by committing to reprogramming ourselves.

The society we see today is a reflection of the state of our family systems. If we continue to argue that we turned out fine, we will only perpetuate the problems in our nation. A nation is only as strong as its family system because it is within the family that children learn morals and spiritual values that give meaning to their lives. As Blessed John Paul II once said, \’the future of humanity passes by way of the family,\’ he referred to the family as a society in its original form.

1. Build a Valuable Family System:
   We need to put values around our family system, when you get into the inner circle one of the first things we teach is to build family values . In our nation we are not intentional about building values and unfortunately we uphold culture over values . Values are what builds any system even including the family system . Nation building only starts when we have a renewal.

It is essential to inculcate into our family system strong values. When you enter into our inner circle program( you can join here) , one of the first things we teach is the importance of building family values and how to build them . Unfortunately, in our nation, we have not been intentional about cultivating values. Instead, we uphold culture over values. Values are the foundation for building any system, including the family system. Nation-building can only begin when we have a renewal that emphasizes the importance of strong values.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE INNER CIRCLE

WHAT IS THE INNER CIRCLE ABOUT?

Parenting today has gone beyond, intuition, experience, and opinion, it\’s now about evidence. Knowing with exactitude the outcome of your journey. And that is what we provide at the academy.

Parenting is about the process, not just Tips and Hacks!! Do you want to build a strong value system and form a foundation so strong to destroy? Do you want to understand why your children act the way they do and help them become better?

⚫️Imagine building a parenting plan and following through in the year with accountability system provided?

⚫️Imagine being able to connect with your children even though you have limited time using a daily connection calendar specifically built to address your needs?

⚫️Imagine keeping a record of your parenting journey in a journal (specifically made for you ) with your goals, challenges, and wins?

⚫️Imagine having direct access to Coach Wendy Ologe throughout the year; Access to coach worth over #1M $2,000

⚫️Imagine having access to webinars worth #100,000 ($200) every month?

⚫️Imagine being able to read one Parenting Book every month with corresponding teachings and breaking down what you read by a professional? Worth over #100,000 ($200) every month?

⚫️Imagine having a 15% -50% Discount on all our courses, products, and services for the whole of 2023 worth over #100,000 ($200)

⚫️Imagine having someone who has been exactly where you are, holding your hand as you smash your parenting goals? This can\’t be quantified with money.

⚫️Imagine being accountable to a system that is not only ensures you learn but ensures you DO and have results?

⚫️Imagine connecting with other parents and learning from their journey?

⚫️Imagine discovering who you are in the real sense of it within 365 days and becoming more?

⚫️Imagine getting all of these benefits for only #70,000 ( $165)/Annum

You don\’t want to keep imagining .These and many more are the benefits of being in the Inner circle.

We worked with over 1,000 parents in 2022 and we currently have over 2,500 New parents enrolled for 2023.

The annual subscription fee for the program is N70, 000. Fee will be reviewed to 100,000/annum soon but if you book now it won’t affect you.

You book a slot at the enquiry desk with a non-refundable fee of N5,000 for 2023 cohort, and pay your annual fee of N65,000 which you can decide to pay at once N70,000

Simply book by using this link https://selar.co/tipinnercircle or make direct payment to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy, then send a chat with proof of payment to 08129687040.

IS YOUR CHILD STRUGGLING TO LEARN?

Your child might be struggling because you don\’t understand how he learns!

My daughter is a dominate auditory learner, in fact, I will say 80%. This makes her verbal and auditory coordination so apt!

A few years ago, we got them bicycles to learn, in split seconds her twin brother who is a dominate Kinesthetic learner started to ride. So kinesthetic learners find physical activities very easy to come by. Our son learnt to swim the same day the swim Coach started his lessons.

In all these years, we have been looking for a way to make our daughter learn to ride because physical activities are part of our value system in our home. No, we never said \”Can\’t you see! your twin brother can ride is easy bla bla! That stuff kills a child who will like to learn faster, it\’s comparison even though parents

Well, we thought of how best we could teach her, then boom her learning style was actually it. So we started to feed her ears first with the learnings on how to ride and not the actual ride itself. Then we got safety guards, …. And our big daughter decided to do the teaching job itself.

Using her dominate learning style instead of forcing and assuming she should just know…she learnt how to ride her bike in 2days!!! Do you know that understanding your child\’s learning style might be the singular solution to her learning difficulties really?

In the Intentional Parent Academy, we run a course where we just don\’t teach parents how to identify the learning styles of their children, we also teach them how to use this learning styles to make their children study effectively and even discipline them correctly.

Do you also know that until you understand how your child learns your discipline will not be effective like I shared in my best selling book \”The Discipline that Works \” Discipline is teaching? And you can only teach when you understand how someone learns.

Understanding this will also help you tailor your child\’s learning in school.

Do you know how your child learns?

Could your child be struggling to learn that thing you are teaching because you are not teaching with her dominant learning style?

Register for the Learning Style Course here: https://selar.co/Learningstylecourse or pay #10,500 to 0509494057 (GTB). The Intentional Parent Academy. Send proof to 09036633600.

Offer valid till March 5th, 2023.