In recent times, I have met young children who can’t engage in conversations, share or build thriving relationships. Most of the problems we are having with teenagers and young adults are due to a lack of social skills. We are raising children who can’t connect because of different issues like COVID, security reasons, and technology e.g., children now have play dates by connecting online thereby shutting out social intelligence which makes the child socially awkward. Many times, parents are quick to judge them but we can’t because they weren’t taught. We focus mainly on academic excellence but that’s not all that is expected. Academic excellence without social intelligence, emotional intelligence, adversity quotient, or spiritual triviality skills comes to nothing. If you concentrate only on Intelligence Quotient and leave the rest out, you are going to fail on your parenting journey and that’s the reality.
Creating a social roadmap for your children is a key factor in parenting. What the road map does is help you as a parent pay attention to the things you NEED to do to know how to place the people your child will need at some point in their lives. Now, let’s take a look at some of the social skills that are required.
In recent times, I have met young children who struggle with social skills and have difficulty engaging in conversations, building relationships, and expressing themselves. The COVID pandemic, increased use of technology, and other factors have led to a lack of opportunities for children to develop their social intelligence. Parents often blame the children for their difficulties, but the truth is that these skills must be taught and nurtured. We focus mainly on academic excellence but that’s not all that is expected. Academic excellence without social intelligence, emotional intelligence, adversity quotient, or spiritual triviality skills comes to nothing. If you concentrate only on Intelligence Quotient and leave the rest out, you are going to fail on your parenting journey and that’s the reality. To be successful in parenting, it is essential to create a social roadmap for your children that focuses on developing these key skills.
1 . Effective Communication and Conversation Skills: For a child to be able to navigate through life, effective communication skills are essential. Eye contact is a fundamental aspect of communication, as it helps establish a connection between people. Many children, particularly teenagers, struggle with conversation skills. Giving your child a smartphone and allowing them to communicate with friends online is not enough to teach them how to communicate effectively. The internet won’t teach your child how to communicate effectively.
2 . Listening: In addition to communication, listening is also an important skill for children to develop. When we talked about listening in the Inner Circle, I shared with the parents “Moving from ignoring, to selective listening, and ultimately to empathic listening is crucial for children to connect with others”. Being quiet and attentive does not mean that one is truly listening. Teach your child to become an empathic listener, to truly connect with others.”
3 . Relationship Skills: As I’ve said earlier “Creating a social roadmap for your Gen Z child is important for their development in relationships. When I was young, I had the opportunity to go to a particular open field to play with other kids every day. I had no after-school lesson teacher and there wasn’t a day I didn’t go out in the field to play. There was a lot to learn at that playground. There were road maps that were there that helped us to socialize.
As a parent, you are the most influential person in your child’s life until they reach 9-10 years old. At this point, their peer group and other adults become more influential. It’s important to have a plan in place for these “other adults” in your child’s life so they are not easily influenced by anyone. This can be done by creating a system of relationships, starting from the child’s birth. This includes positioning positive influences and being intentional in who your child interacts with. This way, when the “other adult” comes into the picture, your child will have a solid foundation and won’t struggle with navigating relationships. The bitter part is that the ‘other adult’ can be Naira Marley, Kim Kardashian, Neymar, Tiwa Savage, Burna Boy, or a random person on your street. If you are intentional enough to create a system of relationships, the other adult will be people you have already set up for your child and they’ll climb the ladder effortlessly. You start creating from the time the child is born.
4 . Accepting Consequences: One of the biggest problems we have in parenting is that we are not teaching children responsibility and accountability rather when something goes wrong, we push the blame on the devil. When you do not teach your child to accept the consequences of their behavior, you teach them to cover up their mistakes and become irresponsible and non-accountable. If your child does something bad in school and gets suspended one week before the exams, you get home and beat the child thinking you’ve disciplined him then beg the school authority to lift the suspension because according to you, you’ve disciplined the child. What you don’t know is that you’ve shown your child that he doesn’t need to accept consequences for his action but just needs little pain and everything will be all right. Accepting consequences isn’t beating the child but allowing the child to go through the process of what is to come when they make decisions. Do not bail them out because by accepting the consequences, you teach and help them become responsible.
5 . Self-regulation: It’s a key aspect of your process. If you don’t know how to self-regulate as a parent, you’ll run into trouble because you won’t know how to teach your child. Self-regulation is impulse control. Are you responsible enough for your emotions? Social intelligence requires self-regulation to know how to interact with people around you. Yelling, addiction to cocaine, and betting are examples of low impulse control and it happens when the amygdala triggers dopamine. These hinder socialization.
Social Intelligence is the theme of the month in the academy. Becoming intentional about creating the social intelligence roadmap is vital and should not be left to chance. It will help you put a system in place as a guide for your children. Without relationships, you can’t become fruitful and fruitful means being relational. You can’t choose friends for your children but you can create an environment where they choose friends and influencers.
We opened up registration for the BECOMING AN EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT PARENT COURSE for 2023.
This course only airs once every year and it leaves you with the kind of impact to last for years. In the past 5 years – The Intentional Parent Academy ™️ we have trained over 5,000 parents on parenting with emotional intelligence.
We currently have over 300 parents already registered for this cohort. And the good news is; you can get the first early bird offer Now before Saturday. This course will show you in practical terms how you can work on your
emotions and use them positively in your journey as a parent
1.Learn to Understand Your Emotions
2. Understand Your Yelling Triggers And Ditch Them
3.How Emotions Management can help behavior management/discipline in parenting,
4. Learn how emotions management helps us become better people.
WHAT’S IN IT FOR YOU?
- Specialised Q & A session for the first 500 participants with our Lead Coach Wendy Ologe.
- 1 month follow up and accountability circle worth 50,000
- Get access to 5 support resources to help you on your journey worth 250,000
- Master Your Emotions 2022 Replay” worth N10,000
All these for only 10,500. Register Here:
Pay #10,500 to 0509494057 (GT Bank). The Intentional Parent Academy. Send proof of payment to 09036633600.
For Enquiries : Call 0903 663 3600