Over the weekend, we had a guest who came to speak to the inner circle members on ‘how to raise a child in the 21st century. One of the insights that stood out for me was a Bible passage, which says, “The labour of the foolish wearieth every one of them because he knoweth not how to go to the city” (Ecclesiastes 10:15). ASK ABOUT THE INNER CIRCLE PROGRAM HERE
I shared a post a few days ago and I made mention of the fact that a lot of people say things like, ‘A child who will be good will be good, ‘You can do whatever works for you, ‘Whatever works for you can be ok’ etc. A part of the Bible made mention of the labour of the foolish. This doesn’t mean that a foolish person isn’t labouring. You can be working but because it is in a foolish way, it won’t take you to the city.
You can have a child who is obedient and foolish at the same time. You can have an obedient child yet that child would be foolish. Raising an obedient child is one thing, it is another to raise children who can thrive and dominate. There are ways of the kings. If you study the kings, you will know that there is a pattern in which the kings raise their children.
21st-century parenting is war. You need to decide how you are fighting your way. Are you fighting intentionally or casually? Either way, there is a fight. What most parents don’t even understand is that ‘not doing anything can mean doing something. So when you say, ‘we don’t need to do anything, you are doing something. It’s either you are raising kings or you’re raising servants. The choice is yours.
1- Life Skills: Your children need to learn life skills if they are going to thrive. Life skills are; flexibility, ability to use initiatives, social skills, productivity and leadership. Have you ever taught your children how to choose their friends? Kings raise their children to remain in the circle of affluence. There is a way. Have you sat down to explain to your children the things to look out for when looking for a friend? Building a worthy social network is a key skill to surviving in the 21st Century.
2- Global Citizenship Skills: Do you know that in the 21st century, there is global citizenship. If your child does not have such skills, he/she will struggle.
Here are the things your child needs to learn under global citizenship skills:
-Tech and digital literacy: How literate is your child when it comes to tech skills? Does your child understand what should be and what shouldn’t be?
-Media Literacy: Does your child understand how they can separate media? It is a skill to be able to see junk and sieve it out. Media literacy entails the why and how the media is constructed the way they are. Can your child discern the difference?
-Information Literacy: Can your child see information online and know what it stands for? Does your child know the system of the world? Does your child know the attainable information? It is information illiteracy to think that not beating a child is western culture. For your child to survive with the system, the child needs to be literate with information. What does your child know?
3- Spiritual Skills: The ability to hear from God is a 21st-century relevant skill in our time. It is not old fashioned. Unfortunately, parents only push their children to go to church, they can’t discern in the spirit and think through scriptures. If your child can not hear from God, then your child will struggle. You need to understand your child’s spiritual temperament. If you do not understand how your child connects with a superior being per time, then you will have issues leading them to the spiritual being.
4- Learning Skills: There are some basic C’s of 21st Century learning, they are:
-Critical Thinking: If a child cannot think, your child can’t learn. So many parents have ignorantly shut down the thinking ability of their children. People who don’t think, can’t invent.
-Communication: Communication is a big deal. One of the reasons why communication is a big deal is that, in Africa, most parents don’t communicate with their children. They instruct them because they don’t understand who they are. Instructing without communication is a failed strategy. One of the reasons why we perpetrate violence in Africa is because our communication skill is poor. Violence comes out of your inability to communicate effectively. People who lack good communication skills struggle with a lot of things. The world is made for communicators.
-Collaboration: A parent reached out to me saying, ‘One of my biggest wins in the inner circle is that my child has now understood how to collaborate, participate and be a team player.’ People don’t learn without collaboration. If you must learn, then you need to learn the skill of collaboration.
5-The Skill For Kings: There is a popular saying in my home, ‘Kings don’t throw themselves in the mud’. Everybody can do it but kings don’t do it. Your child will need to learn how to separate themselves from the rest of the world.
Here are the following ways to teach children the skills for kings:
1-Decision Making: One of the ways to teach your children the skills for kings is by enhancing their decision-making skills. If your child’s make the wrong decision it is a faulty parenting style. Are you teaching your child how to choose correctly?
2- Honour: Another skill of kings is Honour. Honour is a king’s skill. It is the ability to honour and respect. For your child to thrive, he/she will learn how to honour people. Honour is not obedience. It is a different ball game. It is a higher responsibility. When you know where you belong, there are things that you won’t do. Can you imagine the ‘Alaafin of Oyo coming out to fight with a tout? When your children learn to honour, obedience is secondary. The primary thing is an honour. Your children are not going to obey you all the time.
3-Decision making and problem-solving skills are some of the king’s skills. Your child needs to be empowered to make the right decisions. Kings are the ones who solve problems.
4- Peace: We also have Peace. Your children need to learn peace as a skill. King Solomon in the Bible didn’t have to fight any war because he understood peace as a skill. Peace is a skill and there is a way to create peace.
5- How to create a viable relationship: You need to teach your children relationships that are valuable and how to build them around them. your children should learn who is a great ally and why.
6-How to think critically: Critical thinking is a skill for kings. As simple as allowing our child to choose what to wear is a critical thinking process for the child. But most parents give their children the opportunity to think critically.
Conclusively, knowledge sets you apart. It takes you on a different level. You ain’t the same with someone who isn’t knowledgeable. Remember, parenting is not about tips and hacks. Parenting is a process and journey. There is a template for raising kings. You need to learn it.
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