The age of 12 is a big transition age for children, at that age, they transition physically, mentally, and socially. If your child is not able to learn all they need to learn before they turn 13 they will struggle. Life gets bumpy for children because puberty comes in full swing and if they are not prepared, you the parent become frustrated and the child will struggle as a teenager. Life skills are learning to learn skills, these life skills are skills that can be developed intentionally and through everyday parenting.
In this blog post, we will share 12 skills that your child should have before they turn 12. You might not be ready to teach your child about life but life is not going to stop because you are not ready. Life doesn’t seek permission for readiness for exams; life gives you tests every minute of your life. You must understand that you will not be there for your child every minute of their lives because you are not babying children, you are raising adults. The moment you understand that you are raising your children for adulthood you will most likely rethink your parenting strategies.
Research has proven over and again that parenting, experiences, culture, and value systems are things that make a person. One of the questions we must ask is, do I really know what it takes to parent.”Novices do not raise geniuses. Many children go into the world unprepared for the reality of adulting, and it’s been proven that children who do chores do better in life and are more successful in early adulthood.
12 SKILLS CHILDREN NEED TO KNOW BEFORE THEY TURN 12
1. BASIC HOUSE CHORES: Your 12-year-old must be able to do basic house chores, this is important because it’s been proven that children who learn to do house chores as early as age 4 have higher self-esteem, high response-ability, better able to deal with frustrations and delay gratification. According to Matthew Rosemond involving children in chores as early as 3 years of age can have a positive impact later in life. The best predictor of young adult success is that they participate in household tasks as young as 4 years. The research also shows that the best results were gotten from the children who started to do these chores early. According to Harvard, children who do chores early are happier and have better mental health. The more responsible your child is, the more surge they have in their brain development because the brain needs to struggle to develop.
Part of what we teach in the Inner Circle is how to raise a child whose response-ability quotient is high, so we do this through daily activities, we also teach how to teach a system of honor and empathy.
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2. BASIC TRAVEL SKILLS: Part of our webinars in the inner circle program is teaching travel skills. I understand how sensitive and unsafe the times we live in are, but fearful parenting is not the way to go, knowledge-based parenting is the way to go. Are these insecurities ever going to go away? NO! Are our children going to need to survive? YES! Basic travel skills include that your child will be able to move from one place to another and trek a distance. Spatial awareness is part of safety education.
The ability to move from one location to another using public transportation is a crucial life skill. Introduce your child to travel routines in the following ways.
a. Teach them about landmarks. Let them understand that when being transported, one must be able to identify and remember locations by noting specific things at the locations (trees, buildings, road signs, etc).
b. Expose them to various means of transportation by first going along with them while to lead the way, and then going along the way while they lead the way (determine which type of means of transport to use and initiate the request, directions, and payment for them). Eventually, you can then allow them to take short trips on their own, and as you determine fit, allow them to make longer trips on their own like interstate and international travels
3. COOKING SKILLS: Cooking is very important. Part of our family values at home is that cooking is a life skill, not a gender role. I have come to realize that many parents don’t know the benefits of cooking maybe that’s why they don’t necessarily take out time to teach it. Working in the kitchen provides kids and teens opportunities to gain a sense of accomplishment. Even if the end result is not exactly what you expected, praise your kitchen helpers for their efforts.
4. TIME MANAGEMENT: The ability to manage time is an essential life skill and it can lead to productivity. First thing is to teach your child that time is limited and can be wasted. You also want them to understand that everyone has the same 24hours in a day, so it is the efficient use of that time that is important.
6. HIGH QUOTIENT FOR RESPONSE- ABILITY– This involves how to take initiative. You need to build a response-ability quotient
7. HOW TO REACT IN AN EMERGENCY: If something happens today, does your 12-year-old know how to react in that scenario?
8. How to understand what happens at the phases of DEATH, SEX, and BIRTH
9. How to take responsibility for Homework
10. How to start and sustain conversations: At the age of 12, your child should be able to start and sustain conversations, they should be able to have valuable conversations with an adult.
11. Teach Focus and Self Control: Teaching your child how to focus and have self-control comes from having schedules, structures, and strict routines.
12. PERSPECTIVE TAKING: We have a lot of adults who cannot take perspectives, they are not able to look at issues from the other person’s perspective. A lot of us were taught to be stereotyped.
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