TALKING TO YOUR CHILD IS NOT ENOUGH
“I hit or flog my child because I can’t just talk, it’s not enough! “, A parent sent me this recently . While I agree that you can’t just talk, however, that is not the reason you you are a cane-wielding parent. , it’s simply because you can’t set boundaries and stick to them.
📌You hit your child because you don’t understand how to set rules and consequences and stick to it.
📌You hit because it doesn’t involve thinking, so it’s easier.
📌You hit because you don’t have control over your emotions, so you “hurt” when consequences should take place and you rather choose a quick fix …let it all out and get it all wrong too.
So yes you can’t just talk but you must learn what to do. What Boundaries are you setting?
Like I shared in my book Connect to Correct, your words won’t do anything without setting rules and consequences.
💥’Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership.
Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom. Taking responsibility for my life opens up many different options.
💥Boundaries help us keep the good in and the bad out. Setting boundaries inevitably involves taking responsibility for your choices. You are the one who makes them. You are the one who must live with their consequences. And you are the one who may be keeping yourself from making the choices you could be happy with. We must own our own thoughts and clarify distorted thinking.
✔When we begin to set boundaries with people we love, a really hard thing happens: they hurt. They may feel a hole where you used to plug up their aloneness, their disorganization, or their irresponsibility.
✔Whatever it is, they will feel a loss. If you love them, this will be difficult for you to watch. But, when you are dealing with someone who is hurting, remember that your boundaries are both necessary for you and helpful for them.
📌If you have been enabling your child to be irresponsible, your limit setting may nudge them toward responsibility.”
However, you can’t do this without having control over your emotions. if you struggle with always flogging your child and don’t know how to set boundaries, then our “Becoming an Emotionally Intelligent parent” online course is for you. Just use the link in comment section to see all about this course.
Parent Coach & Author