Speaking with a parent last week she asked…. ‘How do you handle mistakes , do you punish for it?’ Gladly she had just gotten a copy of my book Connect to Correct, so I referred her immediately to read Chapter 6 of it “Correcting the Child”
Many of our interventions as regards problem behaviors in our children are usually unproductive because we lack the skill and knowledge on how to respond!
My niece who spent the Christmas holidays with us, mistakenly broke a mirror in the boys room and was crying profusely .
I overheard my children telling her “But you don’t need to say you didn’t do it, Just take responsibility but you need to learn”…..(I guess she was afraid and decided that denial was her way out, which is what most of our methods of discipline teach our children unfortunately ) they continued : “my parents will only correct you and show you what to do, so you don’t break things next time.”
By the time I called to ask why she was crying, still shaking a little , she managed to summon up courage and believe what her cousins told her and went ahead to admit she what happened and said it was only a mistake. I was happy she accepted responsibility and was also bold enough to say she only made a mistake.
First we packed the broken glasses and we had this conversation on breakable items and how to handle them. I also reminded her while we were talking that making a mistake doesn’t make your errors correct, that it’s even a bigger responsibility that requires her to learn more.
It’s easier to take responsibility for a mistake when it’s seen as a learning opportunity rather than something to be ashamed of. Once we see mistakes as bad we tend to feel inadequate and discouraged and may even become defensive.
There is a discipline that works really , I shared the following in my latest book “The Discipline that works”
When a child makes a mistake try using the Three Rs to correct!
💥Recognize: Recognize the mistake with a feeling of responsibility instead of blame.
💥Reconcile: Create a connection with that child on that issue, trying to work out a solution before creating a connection is totally unproductive.
💥Resolve: look at the mistake and it’s the cause and resolves it… Work it out together.
In Connect to Correct, I elaborated on how misbehavior cannot be resolved except you address the reason behind the misbehavior.
Are you reading Connect to Correct and The Discipline that works? Have you seen the amazing reviews on the piece? I bet you need to get a copies of these bestsellers 💕
By the way, slots at our first parents boot camp in Abuja is finishing fast, chat or call 08034377085 to book your slot or get a copy of any of my books