ARE YOU PUNISHING YOUR CHILD FOR BEING A CHILD?
One of the biggest challenges of parenting is Communication…and emotions control is a key player in this.
To get this right, you must work on your emotions deliberately, it’s not just a prayer point, it about knowledge.
A few days ago, a parent emailed me to say he needed help. He was asking for how he can help his son who stammers overcome it.
We had a short session online and during that session, I found out that the major challenge he had was his inability to control his emotions. He has been flogging this child for stammering…I hear you say haba its not the boy’s fault just hold up! lol we have many parents in this table.
Many times we actually flog children for things they can’t control like stammering, inability to write, inability to read, inability to finish the task as required, bedwetting, inability to control their emotions, etc and this list goes on! (Add yours)
Or sometimes we even punish children for being children! Like a child is playing, A child jumping on the cushion, A child crying for something, or expressing his emotions, A child is upset, (add yours)
Some sense of guilt?
I bet, but hey guilt is not the solution, we need to begin to understand the “whys” and “How” in correcting our children.
For instance instead of hitting a child who can’t read just because his “mates” can read you can start by understanding first if this child is being taught right…I mean learning style. People learn differently and many times because they are not taught with their own style they don’t get it.
My son is a dominant kinesthetic learner and the traditional “look on the board and be calm and learn” thing rarely works for this group of people.
You will need a lot of emotions control and knowledge to solve problems with your children especially those ones that are not “made by them.”. This is why we run the quarterly course on becoming an emotionally Intelligent parent, the first-quarter class will be in February 2020.
Emotions control is key on your journey. I will share some tips I shared in my latest book “The Discipline that works” on emotions coaching as a disciplinary tool
-Start with yourself
-Learn to use the Pause button
-Develop yourself emotionally.
-Be aware of your emotions
-Name your emotions
-Deal with your fears.
Share this with your network, you might be helping a parent.
Parent Coach &Author